Archive for the religion Category

God takes his ball and goes home

Posted in religion with tags , , , , on March 3, 2009 by la tricoteuse

God, apparently a big ole whiner, says he let kids die because meaniepants liberals banned him from schools.

Really, God? Really?

Some of the best evidence that there is, in reality, no God: The apparent fact that he just doesn’t bat an eye when the people who are supposed to be on his side appear to be doing everything in their power to make him as unattractive as possible. Seriously, wouldn’t you be pissed off if your kids were constantly damaging your rep by telling everyone about your childish temper tantrums, insane jealousy about other deities, immature refusal to help out because you’re trying to make some lame point about people not inviting you to parties, etc? No one wants to worship a crybaby.

If I were GodDaddy I’d ground my ungrateful little follower-brats for life.

Worst. Deity. Ever.

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God hates you, and me, and that guy over there.

Posted in religion with tags , , , , , , on February 24, 2009 by la tricoteuse

And your mom.  And everyone else.  

In more recent news, God hates Australia! America’s Sweetheart Fred Phelps and company have not allowed their recent Epic Fail (UK Edition) to dampen their spirits one iota. Phelpsypoo has done what any good, red-blooded American cowboy would do. He’s gotten right back up on that bile-puking horse of his and pointed it at greener hotter pastures. Apparently, Australia’s recent outbreak of uncontrollable bush fires is the work of an arsonist: God. Batshit crazy Phelps says the “Land of the Sodomite damned” had it coming, that they’re being punished for being dirty “fag enablers.”

Yawn.

Am I the only person who is beginning to suspect that these loonbunnies are actually a plant? They certainly do more to help our cause than theirs. Even Fox News thinks they’re completely doolally in the brainmeats.

So, really, I think it’s time to say thank you to Fred Phelps, his wackjob crazy-eyed daughter Shirley, and the entire cuckoo congregation of Westboro Baptist Church for inadvertently helping us fight the good fight by being so totally unhinged that they’re almost a more effective and convincing argument against religion than science and reason are.

Almost.